Travels with Sam

Sam and I shared a special and loving bond with each other that I didn't know existed. I called him Salty Sam since we spent so much time on the salt water together boating along Florida's Gulf Coast. I wanted to share the joy and adventure that we experienced, so we started making iPhone videos of our travels to show on Facebook and our YouTube channel, but Sam passed away in January of 2019, halfway through our first year.

Nothing has shook my world as much as the death of Sam in 2019. He totally changed my life while he was alive, and he maybe changed it even more in his death. It was the most horrible pain I have ever experienced in my adult life. I knew I had to understand what was happening to me. I've never known such pain since a child. That sense of loss of the most important thing in your life. The journey of profound grief.  That roller-coaster ride of extreme emotions.

So, I researched everything I could about  pet loss grief. The mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual components. Have I gone crazy?  Will I kill myself?  I read over twenty books on grief and took classes to become a certified pet loss grief recovery counselor.   I started an interfaith pet loss grief support program called "Travels with Sam" that met at a local Episcopal church in Fort Myers, Florida. I was even enrolled for a couple of semesters in the Interfaith Pet Chaplain Program at Emerson Institute of Theology once I realized that grief had a strong connection to spiritual and religious growth and beliefs.

I wanted to write a song and create a music video in Sam's remembrance, as a memorial, as a celebration of his life, of the love we shared. But it took nine months before I could do it. I tried looking through pictures and videos and thinking about moments and the memories we had made, but the grief always became overwhelming. I finally got over the hump and wrote the song linked below called "I'll Help You Write Your Song".  I really think Sam was a co-writer in so many respects. He helped me write this song in so many ways. You can listen here.  https://youtu.be/viOHkRv5P_0